ORIGINS

I will try to put the facts into some sort of organized narrative...

So, while we were eating lunch today, Boris told me quite a story. If you've ever spent any time at our house, you are probably aware of his alter ego...SUPER-BORIS. As you know, Super-Boris has many and great super-powers. The old standards like super-strength, flight, super-speed, etc., but also many unique and wondrous powers like glue-hair, skin into bricks, and transformation into a rhinoceros. The story he told me today predates those powers...

The origin of Super-Boris, as told by the man himself...

Back before he was Super-Boris, he was called SWORD GONG ZORG.

He was part of an intergalactic super-hero league made up of a bunch of aliens and himself, the lone human.

Back in those days he only had one super-power...heat vision.


Once while fighting a horde of barbarians,

his alien allies revealed themselves as natives of the planet Zorg. Being from Zorg, a planet known for its liars and back-stabbers, they were of course untrustworthy, and turned on Sword Gong Zorg in the midst of the battle. Despite his fierce fighting skills, they overpowered him and left him lying on the field where the barbarian archers took aim...
Suddenly, a hush descended upon the scene. A glowing green alien appeared, speaking words of comfort and peace to Sword Gong Zorg.

Transporting him away in his spaceship, the green alien told Sword Gong Zorg that he should never have trusted the Zorgians. Touching Sword on the face, the green alien imbued him with incredible power and told him his new name would be Super-Boris.

Wielding this new power, Super-Boris has become the champion of Earth, vanquishing many bad guys and saving many people. He especially likes to turn himself into rocks and wield the mighty power of the lava...